Tára's story - comments?


Fástred
Fástred's picture

What do people think of Tára's story?

Keen to hear further feedback, on what works and what doesn't for you.

Regards

Jeremy

Jack
Jack's picture

"His captain, Márden al

"His captain, Márden al Telégah, was seated opposite. Kesél had served Márden since he took possession of the Fûren nearly five years ago, and he greatly respected the master of the ship. To Márden's left was Tára al Amánes, the ship's Tríerzi pilot, and a remarkably good looking woman to boot. She had joined the ship two years ago, at the Shôrkýnì port of Kâremus in Álagon."

Call me stupid. I was going to suggest tying the characters in your stories together, but you already have. LOL


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