With Eric, Eric, Eric the ‘Arf a Fish

Last week I acquired a new constant companion. The front end looks like a fish, I’ve never seen the rear end; it could like a horse, a toaster oven, or maybe a fish. It only swims backwards from left to right. I call it Eric… Eric the ‘alf a fish. The part I’ve seen has two mouths, but that’s ok… it doesn’t bite. On the other hand, it does have some odd behaviour. It eats words. If there’s a page of text, it eats the right half, then works its way left to leave only a few letters on each line.

Yet Young Grasshopper is Set Upon His Path

As I write this, last Tuesday, E. Gary Gygax, co-creator with Dave Arneson (and probably a few others) of Dungeons & Dragons, passed away at sixty-nine. I certainly cannot let this pass without remark, because he was a remarkable man.

It’s the Transition that’s Troubling

For this title I thank the late Isaac Asimov, one of my all-time favourite authors. Problem is, the transition can trouble some of us more than others.

No... Warm and Cuddly doesn't quite describe it

Well I just finished day 1 of cycle 1 of what will be at least 2 cycles of ‘mass reduction’. On the face of it, that doesn’t sound half bad… ‘Mass Reduction’, sounds like something we might sign up for.

But I appreciate you saying I look like him.

More than once, children have asked me if I am some bizarre embodiment of Father Christmas… a younger version perhaps, but considering how old the fellow must be by now, that’s still not exactly top-notch flattery.

The Proper Organisation of the World

I just realised that the one advantage of getting old is that the world is organised entirely for my personal convenience... Well, it should be. I’m always in the market for new ‘words to live by’. I have to be alive in order to gripe. This is a step in a direction. Gripeo Ergo Svm...

"Things are darkest before the dawn", I've heard it said, but I think things are darkest when, with or without eyelashes, you close your eyes..

"Live and learn", I always say. Well, not always that would irritate people, and besides, always doesn't seem to mean what it used to mean. Perhaps the key here is the 'live' part, but it's the learning that seizes my attention, and shakes it by the throat with vim and vigour.

People sometimes say, “I can’t complain”, but they rarely mean it. Seems to me that one can usually complain, unless one has lost one’s tongue in some terrible trumpeting accident or can’t find a suitable stick.

Vladimir Ilyich Ulianov's ‘secret party name’ was Nicolai Lenin. By 'party name' we are not talking about what he told the girls at parties to impress them; rather he and his comrades hoped that if the tsar’s secret police got hold of one name they would never be able to connect the dots to the other.